The Other Side Of 'Belonging': Sonia Gandhi’s Memoir Reveals Quiet Cost Of Being A Woman In Indian Politics

So many people are talking about the big political revelations in Sonia Gandhi’s new memoir, Belonging: A Journey of Love.

While everyone is dissecting the party history and election drama, my biggest takeaway from reading this book through a gender lens is much more personal.

It shows how deeply patriarchy affects every woman in India, even a foreign woman who marries into one of the country’s most powerful families.

When Sonia came to India from Italy, I noticed how hard she worked to fit in by learning the language, wearing saris, and embracing local traditions.

Yet, the book makes it clear that no matter how much a woman adapts, society still tries to control her voice, question her loyalty, and remind her of her limits in a world run mostly by men.

She had to carry the heavy, unseen weight of gender expectations at every turn.

While the book traces her journey from a small village in Italy to the center of Indian power, it is much more than a political timeline.

10 Major Revelations From Sonia Gandhi’s Memoir ‘Belonging’

When Sonia Maino fell in love with Rajiv Gandhi in Cambridge in 1965, she had no interest in politics.

After moving to India in 1968, she worked hard to fit into her new home. She learned Hindi, wore saris, cooked Indian food, and focused on raising her children, Rahul and Priyanka.

In the book, she makes it clear that power never attracted her. In fact, she dreaded it. When her mother-in-law, Prime Minister Indira Gandhi, was assassinated in 1984, party leaders immediately turned to Rajiv to take over. Sonia writes that she “fought like a tigress” to stop him from accepting the job. She pleaded with him, warning that they would kill him too.

Seven years later, her worst fear came true when Rajiv was assassinated in 1991.

Grief-stricken, she shut herself away in darkened rooms, listening to Mozart’s Requiem.

When her sister Nadia urged her to pack up and return to Italy, Sonia refused. India was her home, and it was her children’s home.

She stayed, and in 1998, she finally agreed to lead the Congress party, out of a sense of duty to protect the legacy of her late husband and mother-in-law.

One of the clearest themes in Belonging is how lonely power can be for a woman.

India has a proud history of electing women to high office, yet she notes that the daily reality of politics remains heavily male-dominated.

Sonia Gandhi Joins Instagram, Shares First Look Of Her 544-Page Memoir

She saw this firsthand through Indira Gandhi. Despite holding immense authority, Indira Gandhi felt cornered.

Sonia recalls watching her mother-in-law feel “besieged and profoundly alone,” especially in the tense months leading up to the 1975 Emergency.

Years later, when Sonia took charge of the Congress party herself, she experienced that exact same isolation.

She even writes about a 2012 conversation with former US Secretary of State Hillary Clinton.

The two women compared notes on their backgrounds and talked openly about the unique pressures placed on female leaders in both India and the United States.

Whether in New Delhi or Washington, women who step into spaces designed for men often have to carry a heavy, unseen burden.

Sonia Gandhi’s refusal to give frequent interviews or make loud speeches drew sharp criticism.

In a political culture where male leaders are expected to dominate every room, her quiet nature was treated with suspicion.

Opponents often mocked her silence and labeled her a mysterious “remote control” pulling strings behind the scenes.

In the prologue of her book, she addresses this directly. She writes that “others have spent decades telling my story,” and declares, “now it’s my turn.”

Her experience reflects a familiar trap for women in Indian public life. Traditional society expects a daughter-in-law to be quiet and respectful, and expects a widow to step back from the spotlight.

When she stayed quiet, she was called secretive. But the moment she decided to write her own book and claim her voice; people accused her of trying to rewrite history.

If being a woman in politics came with strict rules, being a woman of foreign origin made those rules even harder to survive.

Even after living in India for decades, raising an Indian family, and enduring terrible personal tragedies on Indian soil, Gandhi’s loyalty to the country was constantly questioned by her political rivals.

This tension reached its peak in 2004. After leading the United Progressive Alliance to a surprise election victory, Gandhi was widely expected to become Prime Minister. Instead, she shocked the nation by turning down the post.

In Belonging, she explains the painful reality behind that choice. Her children, Rahul and Priyanka, were terrified for her life, still haunted by the violent deaths of their grandmother and father.

At the same time, she knew that her opponents would never accept a foreign-born leader.

She writes that they would have used her Italian birth to “create havoc” and bring the government to a standstill.

Stepping aside was the only way to protect both her family and the stability of the country.

Belonging: A Journey of Love does not read like an angry protest against the system. It reads like a quiet, honest record of survival.

Through her memories of love, grief, and duty, Sonia Gandhi shows that even the most powerful woman in the country is not immune to the limits placed on her gender and her background.