Kudos to the woman & WCC.

After writing a bunch of news, giving my ears to the chaos happening around, I shared with my closest friends and family about the Hema Committee Report and the recent developments happening in the Malayalam film industry, where women are coming forward with allegations of sexual assault against prominent actors. They have been around the news, listening and sharing opinions here and there. But when I asked what they thought about things happening in the film industry, I was totally appalled by their responses.

Instead of offering support and belief, they expressed scepticism and doubt. “It can’t be true,” they said. “Why didn’t the women speak up sooner?” they asked.

I was shocked and disheartened by their reactions. These were people I trusted and valued and I had that unsought thought that they would stand with the affected, yet they were quick to dismiss the experiences of the survivors. I construed that their responses echoed the same harmful sentiments that have silenced countless women for far too long.

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I know it is been taken from your cue too, there are people who stand on both sides when an assault happens, I wonder, I’m very scared indeed, how? How can someone ask like that, Why? Can someone defend perpetrators blatantly believing that they mustn’t have done that?

It is a fact that may be unfortunate and we, women jinxed in society to open up something because when a survivor of assault reveals their experience years after the incident, it’s not uncommon for them to face scepticism and criticism. People may ask, “Why didn’t you speak up sooner?” or “Why now?” These questions can be damaging and re-traumatizing, implying that the survivor is lying or attention-seeking.

The reality is that the trauma of assault can be overwhelming, making it difficult for survivors to process and share their experiences immediately. Fear, shame, guilt, and self-blame can silence them. The perpetrator may have also used manipulation, coercion, or threats to maintain control and secrecy.

Moreover, the kerfuffle surrounding the revelation can be intense. Social circles may divide, with some supporting the survivor and others siding with the perpetrator. This can lead to further isolation and distress gradually keeping her mum, going away from all the fuss.

I’m telling you this because it is the worst thing, I call it inhumane to ask someone, Is it real??

It is essential to recognise that survivors of assault are not obligated to share their experiences on anyone’s timeline. Their decision to reveal their story years later doesn’t diminish its validity. Instead of questioning their credibility, we should offer support and belief. No one will fake it because it is not easy to gear a revelation against someone,, The words may stutter, and may lead to a breakdown, because what he has done to her is traumatic way more than you think!

When she confides in you about such incidents, it is indispensable to avoid asking harmful questions like “Why didn’t you say something sooner?” or “Are you sure it happened?” Instead, listen empathetically, acknowledge their courage, and offer resources for help. You have to unlearn things you have been fed for years, the verses ingrained, the old lies, and myths that you should understand your direct or indirect nature of defending the perpetrator.

Remember, believing survivors, and construing their pain is crucial in creating a safe and supportive environment to mend.

We need to educate ourselves and those around us about the complexities of trauma and the importance of supporting survivors without conditions. We must work to create a culture where survivors feel empowered to share their stories without fear of judgment or retribution.

Only then can we hope to break the silence and stigma surrounding assault and promote true healing and justice, how the way they DID.

Kudos to the woman & WCC

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