Blog: Emotional vs Physical Cheating: It’s Not About The Type, But People

When Kajol, Twinkle Khanna, Karan Johar and Janhvi Kapoor sat together on the talk show Two Much, no one expected a simple question to ignite such a storm. “What’s worse — emotional cheating or physical cheating?” Twinkle asked.

Janhvi Kapoor, visibly puzzled, replied, “They’re both bad. How can one be worse than the other?” But Kajol, Twinkle and Karan disagreed, unanimously claiming that emotional cheating hurts more.

Soon, social media exploded with opinions. Some applauded Janhvi for her maturity, while others criticised the older trio for “normalising” physical infidelity. The debate became a reflection of how modern love is evolving — and how differently we all define loyalty.

But if you ask me, the answer doesn’t lie in whether emotional or physical cheating is worse. It lies in the people involved — their values, expectations, and the kind of relationship they’ve built.

I believe cheating, in any form, isn’t a simple black-and-white issue. It depends on what two people in a relationship consider sacred. For some, physical intimacy is the ultimate expression of love, so a physical affair feels like the ultimate betrayal.

For others, emotional connection — sharing thoughts, dreams, secrets — is far more intimate, so emotional cheating cuts deeper.

It also depends on individual psychology, emotional capacity, and even sexuality. Every person experiences connection differently. What breaks one heart may not even dent another.

A person who values emotional depth will likely feel destroyed if their partner forms a deep emotional bond elsewhere — even if no physical act occurs.

On the other hand, someone who sees physical touch as a core part of love might never recover from a sexual betrayal, even if emotions weren’t involved.

We give so much importance to emotional or physical cheating because we’ve been conditioned to view relationships — especially marriage — as sacred institutions rather than fluid human connections.

Society tells us that once two people commit, they become one unit, bound by fixed rules of fidelity, behaviour and morality.

But in reality, marriage brings together two distinct individuals, each with their own emotional needs, boundaries, and understanding of love. That’s where the confusion begins.

One person may see chatting with a friend as harmless, while the other sees it as betrayal. One may believe physical attraction outside marriage is natural; another may call it unthinkable.

The truth is, we all interpret loyalty differently — and that’s perfectly human. The problem arises when we assume our definition is universal. That’s why it’s so important to choose a partner whose emotional and moral compass aligns with yours.

That’s why relationships must be built on clear mutual understanding. When you choose someone, it’s essential that both partners share the same emotional language.

The real mistake is entering a lifelong bond without understanding these differences.

What’s the point of marriage if one person spends their entire life crying, feeling betrayed, or unloved, simply because their partner’s idea of fidelity doesn’t match theirs?

Marriage should never be a silent endurance test; it should be a conscious choice made by two people who understand and accept each other completely.

It starts when both parties are genuinely okay with the terms of their relationship — emotionally, physically, and sexually. Because humans are individuals first.

Their desires, emotional capacities, and sexualities are all unique. No one should be shamed for wanting more closeness or less, for needing emotional intimacy or physical touch differently.

You can’t have one person believing in exclusivity and loyalty, while the other treats intimacy — emotional or physical — casually. That imbalance becomes a ticking time bomb.

If one person is loyal while the other crosses those boundaries — no matter how — it’s a deal breaker. Trust doesn’t crumble only when someone cheats physically. It breaks the moment one partner starts hiding feelings, conversations, or emotional needs from the other.

In today’s world, where social media blurs personal boundaries, emotional cheating is easier and more tempting than ever. A few late-night texts, constant liking, or secret DMs can evolve into emotional dependence without anyone realising it.

Sometimes, the betrayal begins not in the body but in the mind — with attention, validation, or comfort that should’ve belonged to the partner.

But again, does that make emotional cheating “worse”? Not necessarily. What matters is intent and impact. If your actions — physical or emotional — harm your partner’s trust, it’s cheating. Period.

Love isn’t measured by how much you resist temptation, but by how much you value the person you chose. If both partners are emotionally honest, transparent, and committed to growing together, the concept of cheating — emotional or physical — rarely finds space.

But when one person invests fully while the other drifts away, it creates an emotional vacuum. That’s when betrayal, of any kind, begins…