Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is usually characterised by a lack of empathy, arrogance, and grandiosity. (image/unsplash)
Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is usually characterised by a lack of empathy, arrogance, grandiosity, aggression, and an exaggerated sense of self-importance. They usually have problems forming relationships, whether they are personal or professional. Research on personality disorders in India is still at an infant stage; along with lack of awareness, NPD is often misunderstood.
Amy Brunell, professor of psychology at Ohio State University and a prolific researcher of narcissism, recently wrote a scientific article on how to identify a narcissist and how to navigate relationships with them.
Also Read | Mental Health Insurance Coverage In India: A Long Way To Go
How to identify a narcissist?
Burnell describes narcissists as “self-centred” who are “entitled, and very often they think the world should revolve around them.” But not all narcissists may exhibit such qualities explicitly. According to research, there are three types of narcissism.
Agentic Narcissists— The most recognisable type, agentic narcissists have an inflated sense of self pertaining to their intelligence or abilities. They view their competence and intelligence as far greater than that of others. To maintain that image, Brunell explains, they often derogate the talents and temperaments of those around them. Brunell noted that while they may describe themselves as “pro-social” and great, “If you ask their peers about them, they actually see them as being kind of aggressive.”
Communal Narcissists—They may have an inflated sense of self when it comes to the contributions they may have towards the community. They seek out admiration by being excessively caring, helpful, and sometimes offering help when it’s neither needed nor requested. Brunell explains that while this may sound contrasting to the definition of narcissism, the need to help doesn’t come from genuine altruism but from the need to be loved and admired.
Vulnerable Narcissists—They are particularly vulnerable to rejection or criticism. These individuals experience distress when they’re not validated, unlike classical narcissists who don’t experience the same type of distress. Brunell highlights that these types of narcissists overcompensate for a deep sense of low self-esteem. They might be defensive, anxious, and depressed, which they try to battle with defensiveness, egotism, and arrogance.
Also Read | Venki Ramakrishnan On Anti-Ageing Supplement GLP-1
Does Genetics Play a Role in Narcissism?
While the roots of narcissism, based on a 2014 study of Chinese twins, suggest that genetics may play a role, other studies comparing adopted children to biological children suggest a hereditary link too. “There is some evidence that narcissism is genetic, though it’s small,” noted Brunell.
However, most researchers believe that when it comes to narcissism, “nurture” is more responsible than “nature.” Brunell highlighted, “It’s pretty easy to answer from the perspective of grandiose narcissism that parents kind of create these little narcissists.”
While too much parental praise can cause the child to develop an “inflated sense of self as ‘special’ that can only be maintained through continual admiration by others” and can cause communal narcissism with kids believing they are uniquely qualified to serve and save the world.
Meanwhile, if parents dismiss, ignore, or demean their children, it could give rise to vulnerable narcissists who look for emotional nourishment elsewhere.
Also Read | Reels Addiction Causes High Blood Pressure And Hypertension: Study
How to Navigate Relationships with Narcissists?
Brunell points out that when dealing with a narcissistic parent or partner, direct confrontation is not a safe option. “I would suggest that rather than necessarily confronting the parent, they can approach them in a way where they say, ‘Mom, I really care about our relationship and making you happy,’ and then try to assert yourself,” she said.
When it comes to romantic relationships, Brunell suggests setting clear boundaries for behaviours that will and won’t be tolerated. “Narcissists tend to be highly reactive and tend to play the victim, so they don’t necessarily handle critical feedback well,” she highlighted, “Still, if you couch it in a way that you care about the other person, you can maybe temper the blow a little bit.”
What about when the narcissist is your boss? She suggests being mindful of your goals when encountering the narcissistic boss. “Know what you need from it, and then set expectations for what you’re going to get and what you’re not going to get,” she suggested.
Also Read | A Doctor’s Important Note On Actual Cost Of Kidney Transplant
When To Cut Ties With A Narcissist?
According to Brunell, the healthiest way to handle a relationship with a narcissist often is to leave.
“If you’ve tried everything there is to try and you’re not getting your needs met, if you’re chronically feeling torn down and not seen, if you’ve tried therapy, if you’ve tried working with your partner, then it may be time to end the relationship,” Brunell emphasised.
In romantic relationships, if you feel unsafe, then Brunell suggests leaving is the best decision. In other cases, however, it depends on how much of an effort the partner without narcissism wishes to put in.
Setting strong boundaries is extremely important both during the relationship and after it ends. “Feeling a little bit more empowered to make those decisions for yourself can be really important,” she added.
Seeking emotional support and validation from friends, family, or mentors is also important to avoid feeling stuck.
