Happily Married Ever After?: A Psychologist’s Guide to Understanding Early Divorces in Kerala
While this is a topic that might be uncomfortable to discuss for several readers, it is important to understand the reality of early divorces in Kerala. This issue is a matter of concern as the number of early divorces has been increasing substantially. As a psychologist regularly seeing divorce-related cases, there are common factors I have observed for the rising number of early divorces in the state.
In Kerala, marriages have been traditionally viewed as lifelong commitments, often sustained by societal pressures and familial expectations. The values around marriage are changing as more people have been giving more importance to factors like happiness and compatibility overstaying in a difficult marriage.
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Due to the exposure to unrealistic portrayals of love and marriage in the media, many young couples often enter marriage with unattainable expectations. When the everyday realities of a married life do not match up with the media portrayals of relationships, couples tend to be disillusioned. What complicates this further is the lack of communication in the relationship. A successful marriage relies on being able to communicate with honesty and kindness. It is seen that unresolved conflicts pile up to become a larger issue later on in the marriage that even might lead to divorce.
There are also economic factors that have contributed to this. As women have started becoming financially independent, they are empowered to leave abusive marriage without fear of economic instability. This also has led to more women opting for the option of divorce.
Marriages also suffer from psychological factors such as anxiety, depression and stress. The increasing pressure to find a balance between personal, professional and familial responsibilities can negatively impact young couples. In the absence of a proper support system, marriages can eventually fall apart unable to cope with stress.
While these are only some of the factors that are leading to an increase in early divorces, it is a much more complicated and multidimensional issue. From the viewpoint of a psychologist, what I can suggest is to carefully consider the institution of marriage. It is important to prepare yourself for the realities of marriage and work on communication in interpersonal relationships. You can also choose to attend premarital counselling sessions and even couple therapy sessions. These steps can help you move towards creating better, healthier and longer marriages.
(Henna Ayoob is a highly regarded Consultant Psychologist and entrepreneur in Calicut, Kerala, specialises in psychological well-being. With a focus on sleep science, she is known for her expertise in guiding individuals toward optimal mental health. Henna is committed to fostering a healthier and more balanced lifestyle for her clients.)
